Diary of a Tongue Splitting

Not content with a mere tongue piercing & tongue ring, Andy Johnson has taken the next step, and split his tongue, deciding to record the whole experience for posterity. Excellent!

Tongue Splitting Diary - Day 1

At the moment, after having bound my tongue about 24 hours ago with mono-filament, the initial tongue binding took me about 5 mins. Even though I have a tongue piercing and have worn a tongue ring for a while, I had to cut the first few attempts and start again as I felt they weren't tight enough around my tongue. But after a bit of practice I had more or less perfected the knot tying & the best way to tie it and still retain the tightness of the tongue binding.

Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting

It's also pathetic the response I get from people when I *have* to explain to them why I can't speak properly, they seem to think that I have no respect for my body because I do things like get my tongue ring. Whereas it's exactly the opposite, I have decided not to even attempt to explain my tongue splitting to people, I do it for myself and that should be enough for them.

My mouth is producing gallons of saliva for some reason. I assume the tongue thinks that the binding is infact food, or some other piece of debris and is trying to flush it out, or possibly the taste buds initiating it, what ever the cause it is quite annoying as I am having to swallow the saliva every 20 seconds, not pleasant, infact I feel a bit nauseous.

The pain is bearable (at the moment), but it hurts a lot when I cough, yawn, or swallow (and as I said I am having to swallow every 20 seconds).

I am going to see how it goes today, I want to do this properly and not bottle out, I don't think I have passed the point of no return yet, but the sooner I go beyond that point the better I reckon, then I will have to carry on. It can only get worse/better.

I need moral support.

Tongue Splitting Diary - Day 2

I don't sleep very well anyway, what with all the thoughts, ideas and peculiarities that my mind seems to obsess with, but last night was just stupid. I think it was the pain of the tongue binding. I can now not see the binding at all, either my tongue is swelling up or it is working :D.

The excessive production of saliva is still occurring, I woke up (often) to find my pillow was drenched, ewww. Or maybe I had an oral wet dream!

13:09 OK, now the Ibuprofen is wearing off :((.

17:20 Another day nearly over, I can feel it cutting into the pierced part of my tongue piercing I think, and it is feeling marginally looser than it was yesterday... or is that just me hoping? I'll post some more tonight, but at the moment I just want to go home and nurse my tongue piercing with drink. Vodka.

Tongue Splitting Diary - Day 4

10:37 Tongue has swollen up to the size of a cow, can't talk, can't eat (just crappy soup and soft bread).

Re-bound my tongue again this morning, not too bad at all, still can't remove the old one though, strangely since I re-bound my tongue it doesn't hurt as much, it stings obviously, maybe I'm getting used to the pain, not sure, but I hope so.

Because my tongue is slightly swollen it is also causing my throat too hurt a bit, which makes me sound like Mr. Bean, not good at all.

Replaced my tongue ring with a longer one, which seemed to ease the swelling, feels tons better now, still speaking like a freak and showering anyone who encounters me with phlegm and sputum, it's great. People are even throwing money at my feet because they think I am under-developed/retarted. I am going to attempt to cut out the old bindings tonight, the wise one hath spoketh, and I shall follow (not blindly though hopefully).

So wish me luck in rooting them out of the deep recesses of my mouth muscle, nothing more today, I'll do some more tomorrow.

Tongue Splitting Diary - Day 5


Sort of a mixture of last night and this morning.

Believe it or not, I think the tounge is about 70% done, I can't believe it either, but I bound my tounge really tight and the amount of mono-filament that was actually used was just over an inch. When I spread my tongue out, a huge chasm appears, also I can move my bar from my original tongue piercing hole, about 3/4 of an inch along my tongue to the tip, maybe it goes slower from here, I always new I healed/pierced easily, but I thought it was set in stone that this would take ages.

I will try to remember to take some pics, I can only do this at home so I will try to get it done soon, until then you will just have to take my word for it ;-).

The swelling has completely gone now, can't remember if I said that yesterday, but I can't be arsed checking back, I can talk reasonably now, albeit with a lisp etc.

I am sooooo happy with the progress, is this too good to be true? I will wait and see.

Oh I took out all my old tongue bindings last night. It took me an hour and a half, and my girl was rather annoyed, as I am not spending tonight with her either because I'm going out with some mates for a pre-christmas drink, but anyway... It took ages, but I did it. It bled a tiny bit, but I swished with some listerine and it stopped almost immediately.

I put in an even tighter tongue bind this morning, and it is hurting a bit now, but no blood, and I feel a great sense of achievement whenever I re-bind, stupid really, it works for me though.

Some time passes.

I decided that I would split the rest of my tongue with a scalpel this weekend, there is a tiny bit of flesh left.... we're talking millimetres here.

So wish me luck!

Tongue Splitting Diary - Day 18

I rebound the tongue last night.... and ping, my tounge seperated, no blood, no pain nothing, it tingles a bit.... but I think that will pass, I AM ECSTATIC :D I am have been walking around with a huge grin on my face all day YAYAYAYAYAY!!

Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting

One week later and all is well in AndyLand.... my tongue is still a bit white for some reason... I'm told that will pass though. I don't quite mind it, very festive really. Or maybe it's the ale... who knows. And who cares.

Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting

I am getting more and more used to my new tongue now, and I can cross the tips slightly also... Everyday it improves :D - It's a wonderful life xx

Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting
Tongue Splitting